You Put The 'U' In Undatable!: Just BEAT It!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Just BEAT It!

Crime scene: Popular Mexican Restaurant; Historic Downtown Provo
Time: 13:00 hours
Weather condition: Eerily chilly
Witnesses: Yours truly
Usual suspect: Disaster # 48

Report: The suspect was described as a white male, 5'9, medium brown hair, blue eyes, approx. 180 lbs. Wearing a tank top and sandals with socks. (Clearly guilty!)

Dinner and conversation turned deadly when he confessed that he had been divorced, or rather "left" by his wife because he abused her.

Judgement: Time served will NOT be with me!

If your date wears a wife beater, or IS a wife beater...UNDATABLE!

1 comment:

JylSeptember 27, 2010 at 9:10 PM
Classic, How do you girls find these men? Gives us single women nooo hope!
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You Might Be Undatable If...

~You ask your girlfriend's brother, who is a dentist, to do $7,500 worth of dental work on you and don't end up paying him a dime.
~You propose after the first date.
~You get your hair cut at Sports Cuts. Or Bikini Cuts.
~You filed for bankruptcy because you're $850,000 in debt.
~If you ask her if she can get you Jazz tickets...but she's allowed to come as your date...UNDATABLE! (Congrats Mike D! You officially made it.)
~You make your girlfriend delete her Facebook due to your own insecurities.
~You've ever told your girlfriend that you're glad that you're the better looking half.
~You've had a "homosexual experience". Ever.
~You have a pair of your last girlfriends dirty underwear under your bed...and despite not having any dust on them, you claim that they've been there "At least 6 months!"
~ You date a girl for 2 1/2 years and never pay for a single date.
~ You have ever sent a text that says..."Do you want me to pee on you?"
~ You forge your girlfriends signature on a legally binding contract and she's forced to press charges due to your inability to take responsibility... AND then you tell everyone she asked you to sign said contract.
~ Your family defines the term "HOT MESS!"
~You've ever played Dungeons & Dragons in Pioneer Park on Saturday morning.
~ You've played Dungeons & Dragons. Ever.
~You love your True Religion jeans more than your girlfriend.
~ You believe it's okay to invite your parents to double with you guys...on your first date.
~ Upon picking her up for the first date, you call her sweet little dog a rat.
~ You add your current girlfriends best friend on Facebook, and send her IM's and emails, in the hopes of dating her too.
~ You have ever cheated. Ever.
~ You have ever used the phrase..."Of course I want a girlfriend. Just not one I have to see everyday."
~ You call her to bail you out of jail, the day following your first date.
~ You spend more money on personal training sessions then you do on getting your teeth fixed.
~ You show up at her house after 10 pm, wearing basketball shorts.

You Put The 'U' In Undatable!

If Your Date Shows Up Wearing A Shirt Covered In One Of These...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Just BEAT It!

1 comment:

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